How to Meet Someone

One of my favorite questions to ask people is how they met their significant other. I don’t know why, maybe my hopeless romantic is showing! Regardless I love hearing the “how we met” stories because they’re usually different from what I’m expecting. One of my favorite stories involves an in town romance between a good friend of mine and her now boyfriend. She worked at a local bakery and he worked at a nearby Italian restaurant. Every day he would come by the bakery to buy bread. He noticed her and would try to talk to her and win her over. It took a bit but his persistence eventually overcame her resistance. They’ve been together for quite some time now but I think either of them would say the last place they expected to meet someone was at work. Moral of the story is you really can meet someone anywhere even when you are least expecting it. 

At a Bar

In a pre covid world this was definitely one of the easiest ways I’ve met guys. A younger me used a night out with the girls as an excuse to get dressed up, wear a little too much makeup and try to meet a cute guy. My success rate at bars definitely varies, there was one instance where this worked out (leave the word brewery in comments if you want to know more) but on the whole this isn’t really an ideal meeting scenario. Covid aside, bars are dark, loud, people are drunk and it really isn’t the right environment to meet people. This is probably old Jess talking but given the choice I’d like to meet my significant other some other way. 

Dating Apps

Where do I even start with dating apps? I guess I’d say I have a fair amount of experience using them. I’ve gone on more than a handful of first dates that began as conversations in apps and I even had two semi serious relationships as a result. When I was in my prime dating app usage I would try to go on every  few days for what I dubbed “happy hour”. I’d get on after work, sip a cocktail or two and swipe and chat with prospects. I tried to make it more of a fun task than what it really is, putting in effort and thought to get to know a complete stranger!

That said, right now I’m not a big fan of meeting someone through a dating app. I realize dating apps have their pros and cons but I’m making a super broad assumption that guys on apps just aren’t looking for something serious. Hinge makes the players glaringly obvious. These are the guys who give one word answers, all their pictures are partying with the boys except for that one photo of them holding a cute kid that they throw in there to pull at your heart strings. Do girls really fall for this?!? Not for me! Of course this isn’t all that’s on there but I’m not having much success. I’m sure I’ll flip my script in a few months but for now I’m staying off apps and hoping for a romantic “how we met” story. 

Coffee Shop/ Gym

A much preferred meeting scenario to me would be meeting a guy at a coffee shop or gym. I already know we have a common interest and it’s casual so there’s low pressure. To me the gym specifically is an attractive meeting place because I value fitness so anyone who shares that value wins a definite point. 

One of my good friends met a guy at the gym. Her and I were gym buddies at the time and I remember her mentioning she thought this one guy was cute and she had seen him there a few times. How she noticed one guy in a sea of dudes is amazing to me but there was an obvious attraction. At some point one of them made small conversation and one thing led to another and they started dating.

Speed Dating 

Speed dating is definitely an interesting option to meet new people! I tried this when I was living in Philly and constantly into meeting new people. I went with a friend of mine and had a really great experience. The set up was pretty similar to what I expected seeing it in the movies. There were roughly 20 people, 10 guys and 10 gals and I was seated at the end of a group of small tables. I was given a sheet to write down names, it had a box for yes or no and an area for notes. I met with each guy for about 5 minutes and then switched to the next one. I was so fascinated speaking to total strangers and learning about what they’ve been doing with their lives. I can’t remember all of the details now but I just remember walking away from it thinking how diverse people really are. As for the results of that night, I had a few matches but no one specific I was dying to know further. I think if I tried it a few more times I would have been successful. It might sound unemotional but I think dating is partially a numbers game so what a better way to stack the odds in my favor than to speed date?  

Set Ups 

Meeting through mutual friends. My inner romantic rejoices! This is seriously one of the cutest ways to meet in my opinion. I feel like this was so much more common back in the day before people turned to dating apps but it definitely still happens. I think the obvious pro’s are that you know and are friends with mutual people which creates a sense of familiarity, common ground and likely values. Since people tend to be friends with people who are similar to them you can get a better feel for the type of person they are. There are definitely drawbacks too like if things don’t work out are both parties mature enough to keep friendships in tack? Definitely things to think about but overall I’m a fan of “the set up”. 

As always thanks for reading!

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