The Benefits of Singlehood

In the spirit of expanding my blog to include dating (more here) I want to share the benefits of singlehood. These are just a few of the advantages I’ve noticed over the years by being alone. Let me take a step back and say that I didn’t always realize being single had benefits. It has taken me a lot of time and inner reflection to realize the good side of single life. In fact, there was a point in time not long after I came out of a five year relationship that I hated most aspects of being single. I was plagued with feelings of loneliness, wishing I still had that special someone to share exciting things with or just talk to when times were tough. The thought of finding someone new and opening up again was overwhelming and scary. At some point in this discomfort I received really good advice from friends and family to stay single for at least one year and it was truly the best thing I ever did!

Over time I realized there are so many other support systems I have in my life, including myself, that I don’t need to be so reliant on one person. I quickly went from hating single life to fully embracing it! Heck, sometimes I worry if I’ve gotten too used to it but I think when the right person comes along it’ll be worth losing some “me” time. Whether you’re in a relationship or not I still think it’s important to reflect on some of these aspects of life (self love, self care, priorities etc.) and determine if there are things we can be doing better for ourselves.

Now on a lighter topic! As an extra bonus for this blog I’m thrilled to announce I have a guest writer! Introducing my friend for the last 15+ years, the fabulous and newly single Pri.

Single Life Benefits by Pri  

  • Self care | I have always loved myself. However, I would make so much time, care so much, invest so much into my partner that I would feel guilty turning that inward. I’ve learned that the relationship I have with myself, my body, my soul, my inner sanctuary, is the only place I will ever truly be whole. Investing in myself, during these singleton days, has been the best investment of my time, money and effort. 
  • Feeling whole | When I was in a prior relationship, I felt as if half of me was missing when he was not around. Now I feel like a complete person, all on my own.
  • Plans | Your plans are your own! No need to confirm dinner reservations or check in with your partner before agreeing to brunch with friends. You make your own schedule, and can feel free to be only responsible to yourself.
  • Masturbation | Sex is great, especially when it’s with yourself! You know you, better than anyone else could. Not having a consistent sex partner makes you explore yourself on a deeper level. In my singlehood, I’ve discovered new ways of finding my own pleasure and I can weed out those who just…don’t cut it. 
  • Strength | Singlehood has taught me a lot showing up for myself. I am physically, spiritually and emotionally strong enough to take on my own life without the support of anyone else. I am my own shero. 
  • Priorities | My goals are my own. I set the priorities for my own life. I do not have to think in “our” life terms, and limit myself by the expectations my partner placed on me or vise versa. “I am the leading lady of my own life,” to quote my favorite movie (hollar in the comments if you know what I am talking about!)

Single Life Benefits by Jess Ozo 

  • Self love | When you aren’t in a relationship you have so much more time to pour love into yourself. Insert corny saying here, “you have to love yourself in order for you to be able to love anyone else”. 
  • Me time | Pretty much all time is me time when you’re single but you know those days where you just don’t want anyone around so you can dance around in your underwear and not be judged? Seriously though once you are in a relationship especially if you live with the person these opportunities are rare. You may even find that you need to plan me time. Being single for a while has helped me realize how much I value this time and I definitely don’t take it for granted.  
  • Meeting People | When you’re single (pre-pandemic) you are meeting new people all of the time so you get to be around a variety of people with different personalities, ideas, habits etc. You can invest in the ones that work for you and pass on the ones that don’t.
  • Decisions | The only opinion you have to factor into decisions is your own. This can be as complex as deciding where you want to live, what’s included on your schedule, to planning travel or even small things like what to watch for tv that night. All the decision power lies in your hands!
  • Own space | When you live on your own your space is completely yours. This is my apartment completely by myself. I’m totally loving it! Everything in my apartment is set up the way that I want it and decorated according to my taste. The level of cleanliness is completely within my power. If I clean things they stay clean until I mess them up and if I’m slacking on cleanup no one’s complaining! 
  • Date for fun | It’s fun to flirt and not be committed to one person! Take advantage of the fun of it because in the grand scheme of life you are likely to be with someone longer than you are single. So take advantage of this rare time and have some fun, once your committed relationships are work!

As always thanks for reading!

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